Tuesday, August 31, 2010

2 years and rollin'

As I head into week numero elevano (that was French for week number 11, of course!), I also head into year number 3 of my marriage.  Pretty cool, huh?  I couldn't think of anything special to get Ken for our anniversary, so I put a bun in the oven (with his help) that will be done cooking in about 6 months.  Thoughtful, huh?

What I have realized, especially during the past couple of months, is that having the right person standing beside you is so important. Want proof?  Read the following example:  I wake up this morning (definitely not feeling like P Diddy) and get on a 9:30 conference call.  During the conference call, my hubby makes me breakfast and coffee (I am allowed one cup, damnit!)...fabulous.  He feeds, waters and walks the dog.  He does laundry and picks up any loose articles that may have been thrown on the counter/floor from the night previous (not that I would ever do that!).  After my call, he waits patiently for me to decide what I want to do for the day.  First, I decide to take a nap.  Then, I can't sleep...(not that Ken was a big help in allowing me to sleep).  Then, I start crying because nothing in the closet fits me and I have nothing to wear (also, I am ugly and fat and homely and my hair roots are too long and why are there starving children in Africa blah blah blah...).  So what does my husband do during this HOUR LONG RANT!?!?!?  He waits, patiently, reassuring me that I am gorgeous and definitely NOT fat (liar...).  He holds me and rocks me back and forth until the crying stops and helps me pick out an outfit.  Now THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a great husband.

We have seen our serious ups and our serious downs.  But I will never find someone who loves me more and is more committed to my true well being.  Our love has been tried and tested, but I don't believe there is any other couple made for each other the way we are.  You tell me how a 20-something year old and an over 40-something year old (I won't reveal Ken's age...his feelings about my well being might change suddenly if I do...) can stay together for as long as we have and create such a wonderful life together?  It's because we are meant to be.  And I am so thankful for that blessing. 

Sorry this isn't a crazy maternity blog, but I have to give credit where credit is due.  And Ken, if it weren't for you, this pregnancy wouldn't even be possible (I feel like the Georgia Public Broadcasting channel...weird).  I love you, baby!

Week 11...post-traumatic-outfit-picking-out-disorder...


Roller Coaster !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


So, is it normal to eat hot sauce on everything? I’m just asking… I make Steph an omelet; she douses it with hot sauce. I make chicken cutlets; she drowns them with hot sauce. She brings home chicken wings literally floating in hot sauce. I’m afraid the ice cream is next! And I’m kind of worried that our child will come with a charred interior. I guess I'm wondering if this normal behavior. Oh wait, we are talking about pregnancy, and we are talking about Stephanie.. What was I thinking? LOL

I do however enjoy cooking for my lovely wife whenever time allows. After a Spring of constant diet and exercise in preparation for a vaca in the Keys, we are now on a new mission. It seems I am to continue with diet and exercise and my Darling Steph will be exercising and EATING....Eating for at least two. No worries though because she looks absolutely stunning. A little moody perhaps, but beautiful. Oh, and there is that one thing; she's made me the happiest guy on the planet.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

25% DONE!

As I enter week 10 of this crazy 9 month journey, there are several things I want to bring to the attention of friends who have yet to carry another living being inside themselves (yes, I am the real life Ellen Ripley from Aliens).

1) No one, and I mean NO ONE, does gas like a pregnant lady. Unpleasant, huh? Well,  picture the Michelin Man squeezing his butt cheeks together and walking down Main Street, USA...THAT is how you will feel, my dear friend.

Moral of the Story: "bloated with 100% chance of gas" will be your  personal weather condition for about 9 months.

2) Every hunger pain, bump, nauseous inclination, bodily or emotional affliction is amplified times 100!  For example, even if you have endured previous back pain twenty times worse before pregnancy, you now have the right to take your current discomfort and multiply it by 100...literally, 100 (formula: current discomfort x 100= level of complaining allowed).  With all the hormones floating through your body, you won't have to worry about this math, the hormones will go ahead and do all the multiplication for you.  You won't even know that you sound like an overly dramatic shrew...isn't that great!?!? 

Moral of the Story: your husband becomes your superhero if he wasn't one already.

3) A sure fire way to "get told"  is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period (unless you are a medical professional).  An even more effective way to "get told" is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period...if you are a man.  The amount of dislike that is sure to come your way if you are a man who happens to let the ole', "Well, don't do what my wife did and gain 40 pounds!" slip from his mouth, is similar to the discomfort formula found above.  Take the normal (non-pregnant) amount of dislike, and multiply it by 100 (formula: dislike x 100= intensity of evil laser eye stare).

Moral of the Story: do yourself a favor and steer clear of "weighty" conversations.

HOWEVER!!!!  Have no fear!  Because I also have some great advice (yes, I am done ranting and raving).

1) Remain active!  It will keep your bowels and your shrew-like mood in check.  I have committed to working out 3 times a week now that the initial groggy/queasy time period is over. 

2) Plan a weekend getaway with the hubby!  This will give you incentive to remain active (especially if you are going to the beach!) and give the two of you alone time before there is no more to be had for quite some time.  We plan on going to see family and going to the beach before the end of the year.

3) Take LOTS of pictures.  LOTS.  Document every little detail in a journal or blog, and don't be afraid to embrace the up's and down's that are pregnancy.  Cheesy, huh?  (I agree.) BUT!  Ken and I keep journals that we write specifically to the baby in.  Any hopes and dreams or thoughts and occurrences we want to make sure the baby knows about, we jot down in our journals.  Any gifts, cards or flowers, we keep or take pictures of to make sure the baby knows how much it is loved and wanted.  I feel that this process will come in especially handy when the baby is around age 13 and screams, "You two don't even love me!  You don't care and I am probably adopted!"  We will then pull out the ginormous scrapbook of pre-birth memories and reassure our teenager (and ourselves) that none of those accusations are true!  I mean, how could they be?  Who wouldn't love a moody, mouthy, rebellious teenager?  Right? Anyone?

Week 10 belly...(Believe me, the only reason you're gettin' a picture is because it was a skinny day! Oh, and sorry about the quality.  I didn't have a helper and I didn't want to waste a skinny day photo op!)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Doctor's Visit: Round One

For people like me who really never experience "morning sickness" (knock on wood, right?) or any of the other crazy side effects of early pregnancy, you constantly wonder..."Am I really even pregnant????"  Well, guess what? Today I found out that I really am pregnant and I've got the picture to prove it (these 7 extra pounds I've put on weren't just an excuse to eat french fries galore)!

An ultrasound technician once told me that the 2 most common things said during the first ultrasound were these:
1) "Oh!  The baby looks just like his daddy!  Look how big his head is!" and...
2) "Oh!  The baby looks just like his daddy!  Look at it's (name of any body part and/or bodily feature that is totally indistinguishable during ANY stage of the first trimester)!"
So, I promised myself that I would not say either of these things.  After all, Ken doesn't have a big head...the baby would have gotten that from my side of the family for sure...But seriously!  I couldn't have said boo to a goose with the way I was crying. 

Not only did I get to see my little baby, I got to hear the "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" of its' heart!  That beautiful sound stole my breath away.  Life is within me!  And I never thought I would get to experience this.  I had never given much thought to any of my friends' pregnancies; never really cared...but I guess better said- I never really understood.  Now I get it.  And now, every step I take is one step closer to holding that little baby in my arms and giving it the best life I can.  

I am reminded of Uma Thurman in Kill Bill: Volume 2.  When the Asian assassin shoots down her door, Uma pleads that her life be spared for the sake of her unborn child (which she found out only moments ago she was carrying).  The two women are across the room from each other-only a few feet separating them-with guns cocked and ready to fire.  The assassin tells her that the whole baby story is bullshit; just a quick distraction to catch her off guard.  Uma responds, "On any other day you would be 100% right.  But today, you're 100% wrong.  Right now, I'm the deadliest woman in the world."  

I am that woman.  I am the deadliest woman in the world.  Because I am carrying the tangible proof of the love I have for my husband.  I am carrying the future generation to my father's legacy.  I am carrying my mother's loving spirit.  This is my baby and it is the world to me.

Monday, August 16, 2010

WeLcOme!

Welcome to our blog!  I never thought we would have a blog...after all, how presumptuous to think that someone (somewhere? anyone?) would care enough about you to look at a page all about you!  But heck!  Why not try?  Worse comes to worse, my mom will follow the blog (if she can remember how to turn on her computer...).  But seriously, thank you in advance for reading and visiting and we hope that you will come back again. 
Our goal is to put a Clark twist on being pregnant...even now at 8 weeks (almost 9!), being pregnant has been the most comical event we have endured together as a couple.  Of course Ken is more of an expert when it comes to growing a baby than myself, but so far it has been an 8 week journey of hot sauce eating frenzies, sleep spells that would make you think I was Sleeping Beauty and hormonal up's and down's that take me back to about the 9th grade.
All in all, we have had a blast and hope to share our experiences and excitement with all our friends and family who love us.