Baby Blitz!

It's been a little quiet on the home front with baby updates...and for that, I am sorry. But you know what they say: no news probably means someone was too lazy to update the blog! That is what they say, right?

Well, maybe not because I have been anything but lazy...in the last few weeks I have traveled to New York, New Jersey, Michigan and Florida. On top of that, my NEW STORE'S grand opening was on the 8th of October. Soooo, maybe I've just been a lil' busy...and we all know that Ken never sleeps.

But have no fear! I am here! To update you on all things baby!

1) All of the results came back from the sequential screening and they were all normal! Thank God! (Which Ken and I have already disputed because our child will be anything but normal...I mean, I'm just bein' honest...)

2) We took the baby to meet both our families in Michigan...I was prepared with super stylish maternity outfits for the trip. I made sure to bring my "buffet pants" (thanks for that one, Julia!) because we ate like there was no tomorrow.  Well, the baby ate like there was no tomorrow...Ken was just being a pig.

3) Forget everything I said about being less gassy...it was all a lie.

Alrighty! Moving on!

4) We have tried every test known to man and consulted every wives tale ever told to try and guess what the sex of our baby is. I dreamed I was having a baby boy and was sure of it...until my mom, Deanna, Ken and Stacy convinced me I was having a girl. Then I had a dream that I was having a little girl.

I waited patiently for Ken's psychic friend to call and tell me what I'm having...but she never called (probably shoulda slipped her a twenty...dangit!) Sooooo, let's just say I consulted the old Thai lady at the Thai restaurant in town (who is said to be 100% accurate in these matters), and was told that because I was "frumpy" and "without makeup" I must be carrying a boy. Suprisingly I wasn't offended by her comment? Hmmmm...

Anyways, there was this "find out what you're having with 15 easy questions!" quiz I found on the internet. Well, when it came to the question of, "what are you craving: sweet or sour?", I was like, "SOUR PATCH KIDS SOUND REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!" See, I can't win.

So, we are safely waiting until Monday the 25th for the final answer...and let me be honest with you...I don't care what I have. I really don't. Just give me that little baby to love and I will be one happy mama!

5) I felt the baby moving (I like to call it "squirming") around on Sunday the 17th of October. Like, whoa. Amazing. When you feel it, it will change your life.

6) Ok, soooo, I'm not gonna lie... the baby is a lil' big already.  Weighing in at 25 pounds (at least...), our baby will no doubt be the largest baby ever born (next to an elephant or rhinoceros...perhaps). And though the size of the baby has increased my size, I am willing to sacrifice for the sake of history! However, my husband seems to love my extra inches...and we don't choose to call it "fat" or "chubby"...we call call it "Rubenesque" (refer to exhibit A, B, C and C and a half)

                      

 Exhibit A... 

   

Exhibit B...14 weeks

Exhibit C (CUP! Yeah baby! That's right! I'm a C CUP!)...BTW, I'd like everyone  to notice Remmy with the creepy eyes in the mirror...creeeepy!...17 weeks

Exhibit C and a half...17 and 1/2 weeks...we are starting to see a baby bump!!!!

Smooooth Sailin'...

Whew! SO glad that is over!  My first trimester draws to a close in just a few more days! If you can't tell how happy I am about this fact, please, allow me to throw in some more exclamation points !!!!!! I'm not trying to scare anyone (even though there is probably no one left to scare-pretty sure I am the last person I know who doesn't have a kid), but that first trimester is a DOOZY!

I can say, without a doubt, that the second trimester bulb went on for me at about week 12 and a half.  I woke up fully rested (WHAT!?!?!?!  FULLY RESTED!?!?!? NO WAY!), had a lovely breakfast (that I did not consume in record servings) and put on a damn outfit in less than 5 minutes!

It seems that the second trimester bulb is growing brighter for other reasons as well:
1) My cravings/hunger are less like a semi-truck and more like a Tacoma.  Is that a good example?  Or maybe this...my cravings/hunger are less like the Titanic and more like a 26 footer?  I'm tryin' here people!
2) Emotions in check...I think...well, it depends...don't ask Ken...he doesn't know anything...
3) GAS SUBSIDES! What!?!? That should be on the front pages people! It really should because I can finally allow my husband to hug me and sleep in the same bed without a mask!
4) HOLY MOTHER OF PREGNANCY SEX! Yes, ladies.  It's true.  My friend told me that it would be amazing and I secretly thought she was full of it (or a much better wife than myself...sorry Megs!), but after the first months of misery..."WOW" is all I can say (and I think Ken can say it, too...tee hee!).
(BTW-I'd like to apologize to all my family members, step children and especially mother for this one...blogs are a safe place, guys...just go with it.)
5) I am embracing my extra weight...EXCUSE ME????  Yes, you heard right.  I am embracing it...sometimes more willingly than other times...but I am trying to relax and let it be. 

I am hoping that these good things keep coming, because if they don't, I am afraid my husband has every right to put me on the streets...just sayin'!

I did go to the doctor and found out some news, however:
One, I have low platelet levels. Therefore, I will probably not be able to have an epidural...which is fine because I wasn't planning on it anyway. There is something about natural childbirth that I feel is right. My mother had me naturally and I feel like it is a way to understand what having a child is all about; it ain't easy but it is soooo worth it! Plus, I have a great friend who has encouraged me and had her child naturally as well.
Two, we are choosing to have sequential screening. Sequential screening is basically a blood analysis at 13 and 16 weeks that tells you if your baby has a greater risk of birth defects. If it comes back positive, it doesn't necessarily mean anything for sure, it just means that you run a higher risk for defects like spina bifoda and Down syndrome. That is when they do another test, look at your ultrasound a little closer and take amniotic fluid in order to make a diagnosis. I decided that I wanted to know if there was anything wrong with my baby...my doctor said that the results can ruin some people because they are so devastated when a positive result comes back. However, I cannot think of one reason not to be excited about having this child, and if God trusts us with a special needs baby, then so be it; we will start preparing now.
Three, my doctor is leaving me!!!! She was given a great opportunity at Vanderbilt to teach there. So now I have to deal with another doctor...she is gonna be so sorry she has me as a patient! And by the way, I say "doctor", but I actually opted for a midwife. I feel like a midwife specializes in more one-on-one attention and also in natural child birth. My doctor was so awesome even though I only got to see her a few times. It is hard to believe that anyone else could be as wonderful.
Four, I got to hear that little heartbeat again! "whoosh, whoosh, whoosh"...it made me and my mother cry all over again.

Ken and I are planning on going to Michigan and Florida for a little r and r in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to seeing my family and visiting my underwater friends in the ocean...yes, I have friends that live underwater...duh! We will find out the baby's sex on the 25th of October...I already had a dream that it is a little boy...we shall see soon enough! And yes, I shall grace you with a photo...it was a skinny day...
                                                                           Week 13

2 years and rollin'

As I head into week numero elevano (that was French for week number 11, of course!), I also head into year number 3 of my marriage.  Pretty cool, huh?  I couldn't think of anything special to get Ken for our anniversary, so I put a bun in the oven (with his help) that will be done cooking in about 6 months.  Thoughtful, huh?

What I have realized, especially during the past couple of months, is that having the right person standing beside you is so important. Want proof?  Read the following example:  I wake up this morning (definitely not feeling like P Diddy) and get on a 9:30 conference call.  During the conference call, my hubby makes me breakfast and coffee (I am allowed one cup, damnit!)...fabulous.  He feeds, waters and walks the dog.  He does laundry and picks up any loose articles that may have been thrown on the counter/floor from the night previous (not that I would ever do that!).  After my call, he waits patiently for me to decide what I want to do for the day.  First, I decide to take a nap.  Then, I can't sleep...(not that Ken was a big help in allowing me to sleep).  Then, I start crying because nothing in the closet fits me and I have nothing to wear (also, I am ugly and fat and homely and my hair roots are too long and why are there starving children in Africa blah blah blah...).  So what does my husband do during this HOUR LONG RANT!?!?!?  He waits, patiently, reassuring me that I am gorgeous and definitely NOT fat (liar...).  He holds me and rocks me back and forth until the crying stops and helps me pick out an outfit.  Now THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a great husband.

We have seen our serious ups and our serious downs.  But I will never find someone who loves me more and is more committed to my true well being.  Our love has been tried and tested, but I don't believe there is any other couple made for each other the way we are.  You tell me how a 20-something year old and an over 40-something year old (I won't reveal Ken's age...his feelings about my well being might change suddenly if I do...) can stay together for as long as we have and create such a wonderful life together?  It's because we are meant to be.  And I am so thankful for that blessing. 

Sorry this isn't a crazy maternity blog, but I have to give credit where credit is due.  And Ken, if it weren't for you, this pregnancy wouldn't even be possible (I feel like the Georgia Public Broadcasting channel...weird).  I love you, baby!

Week 11...post-traumatic-outfit-picking-out-disorder...

Roller Coaster !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, is it normal to eat hot sauce on everything? I’m just asking… I make Steph an omelet; she douses it with hot sauce. I make chicken cutlets; she drowns them with hot sauce. She brings home chicken wings literally floating in hot sauce. I’m afraid the ice cream is next! And I’m kind of worried that our child will come with a charred interior. I guess I'm wondering if this normal behavior. Oh wait, we are talking about pregnancy, and we are talking about Stephanie.. What was I thinking? LOL

I do however enjoy cooking for my lovely wife whenever time allows. After a Spring of constant diet and exercise in preparation for a vaca in the Keys, we are now on a new mission. It seems I am to continue with diet and exercise and my Darling Steph will be exercising and EATING....Eating for at least two. No worries though because she looks absolutely stunning. A little moody perhaps, but beautiful. Oh, and there is that one thing; she's made me the happiest guy on the planet.

25% DONE!

As I enter week 10 of this crazy 9 month journey, there are several things I want to bring to the attention of friends who have yet to carry another living being inside themselves (yes, I am the real life Ellen Ripley from Aliens).

1) No one, and I mean NO ONE, does gas like a pregnant lady. Unpleasant, huh? Well,  picture the Michelin Man squeezing his butt cheeks together and walking down Main Street, USA...THAT is how you will feel, my dear friend.

Moral of the Story: "bloated with 100% chance of gas" will be your  personal weather condition for about 9 months.

2) Every hunger pain, bump, nauseous inclination, bodily or emotional affliction is amplified times 100!  For example, even if you have endured previous back pain twenty times worse before pregnancy, you now have the right to take your current discomfort and multiply it by 100...literally, 100 (formula: current discomfort x 100= level of complaining allowed).  With all the hormones floating through your body, you won't have to worry about this math, the hormones will go ahead and do all the multiplication for you.  You won't even know that you sound like an overly dramatic shrew...isn't that great!?!? 

Moral of the Story: your husband becomes your superhero if he wasn't one already.

3) A sure fire way to "get told"  is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period (unless you are a medical professional).  An even more effective way to "get told" is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period...if you are a man.  The amount of dislike that is sure to come your way if you are a man who happens to let the ole', "Well, don't do what my wife did and gain 40 pounds!" slip from his mouth, is similar to the discomfort formula found above.  Take the normal (non-pregnant) amount of dislike, and multiply it by 100 (formula: dislike x 100= intensity of evil laser eye stare).

Moral of the Story: do yourself a favor and steer clear of "weighty" conversations.

HOWEVER!!!!  Have no fear!  Because I also have some great advice (yes, I am done ranting and raving).

1) Remain active!  It will keep your bowels and your shrew-like mood in check.  I have committed to working out 3 times a week now that the initial groggy/queasy time period is over. 

2) Plan a weekend getaway with the hubby!  This will give you incentive to remain active (especially if you are going to the beach!) and give the two of you alone time before there is no more to be had for quite some time.  We plan on going to see family and going to the beach before the end of the year.

3) Take LOTS of pictures.  LOTS.  Document every little detail in a journal or blog, and don't be afraid to embrace the up's and down's that are pregnancy.  Cheesy, huh?  (I agree.) BUT!  Ken and I keep journals that we write specifically to the baby in.  Any hopes and dreams or thoughts and occurrences we want to make sure the baby knows about, we jot down in our journals.  Any gifts, cards or flowers, we keep or take pictures of to make sure the baby knows how much it is loved and wanted.  I feel that this process will come in especially handy when the baby is around age 13 and screams, "You two don't even love me!  You don't care and I am probably adopted!"  We will then pull out the ginormous scrapbook of pre-birth memories and reassure our teenager (and ourselves) that none of those accusations are true!  I mean, how could they be?  Who wouldn't love a moody, mouthy, rebellious teenager?  Right? Anyone?

Week 10 belly...(Believe me, the only reason you're gettin' a picture is because it was a skinny day! Oh, and sorry about the quality.  I didn't have a helper and I didn't want to waste a skinny day photo op!)

Doctor's Visit: Round One

For people like me who really never experience "morning sickness" (knock on wood, right?) or any of the other crazy side effects of early pregnancy, you constantly wonder..."Am I really even pregnant????"  Well, guess what? Today I found out that I really am pregnant and I've got the picture to prove it (these 7 extra pounds I've put on weren't just an excuse to eat french fries galore)!

An ultrasound technician once told me that the 2 most common things said during the first ultrasound were these:

1) "Oh!  The baby looks just like his daddy!  Look how big his head is!" and...

2) "Oh!  The baby looks just like his daddy!  Look at it's (name of any body part and/or bodily feature that is totally indistinguishable during ANY stage of the first trimester)!"

So, I promised myself that I would not say either of these things.  After all, Ken doesn't have a big head...the baby would have gotten that from my side of the family for sure...But seriously!  I couldn't have said boo to a goose with the way I was crying. 

Not only did I get to see my little baby, I got to hear the "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" of its' heart!  That beautiful sound stole my breath away.  Life is within me!  And I never thought I would get to experience this.  I had never given much thought to any of my friends' pregnancies; never really cared...but I guess better said- I never really understood.  Now I get it.  And now, every step I take is one step closer to holding that little baby in my arms and giving it the best life I can.  

I am reminded of Uma Thurman in Kill Bill: Volume 2.  When the Asian assassin shoots down her door, Uma pleads that her life be spared for the sake of her unborn child (which she found out only moments ago she was carrying).  The two women are across the room from each other-only a few feet separating them-with guns cocked and ready to fire.  The assassin tells her that the whole baby story is bullshit; just a quick distraction to catch her off guard.  Uma responds, "On any other day you would be 100% right.  But today, you're 100% wrong.  Right now, I'm the deadliest woman in the world."  

I am that woman.  I am the deadliest woman in the world.  Because I am carrying the tangible proof of the love I have for my husband.  I am carrying the future generation to my father's legacy.  I am carrying my mother's loving spirit.  This is my baby and it is the world to me.