The Family Bed

Since Christian was born, he has slept with me. Even in the hospital he never went to the nursery because, well, he didn't have to! I kept him close by my side so that I could feed him whenever he so wished. It was truly the easiest thing to do.When we got home, I tried putting him in his bassinet but was constantly awakened by every. single. noise he made. And because he wanted to eat or at least suckle for comfort sake most of the night, I kept him in bed with me.

Sleeping together in the hospital

Since he has gotten older, The Family Bed has become the place where Christian is the most relaxed and at ease. It has become the focal point of our home. For example, after dinner at night we all lay in bed and watch movies and cuddle until it is time for Christian to curl up and nurse himself to sleep. The Family Bed is also the place where we all bond in the mornings by cuddling and watching our little boy coo with content before the hectic day gets underway. I know several moms who are dead set against The Family Bed, but for us, it has worked out quite well. Not to mention, the fact that we share a Family Bed made traveling this summer sooo much easier as we needed no bottles (because he nurses) and no big, huge Pack and Play for him to sleep in. He always felt comfortable in the hotel rooms because he was in bed with Mom and Dad...just like at home!

Sleeping with Daddy

Many parenting books argue that The Family Bed, or co-sleeping, cheats your child from gaining independence and confidence. These books also stress the importance of scheduling your child for every moment of the day instead of following a routine. With my work schedule, a strict schedule for Christian is almost impossible. Perhaps if I had a 9-5 it would be more doable, but since I don't get home sometimes until midnight or later, I enjoy my time in bed with my son! Do I worry that he will be in our bed forever? Not half as much as I dread the day when he's not sleeping quietly beside me! Do I worry that he'll be a sissy kid unable to function in the real world because he needs his Mommy and Daddy all the time? Ummmm...have ya met my husband? Christian doesn't stand a chance when it comes to being a sissy. Ken is already talking about buying Christian his first gun...

Other people worry about there being a lack of intimacy between husband and wife with a baby in bed, and I admit, I miss holding my husband at night...but our sex life hasn't fallen by the wayside. Like, at all. Trust me...

However, (Yes. There's always a flip side...) Ken is not a fan of having Christian in bed with us till he's 5. He feels that it would be cheating Christian to have him sleep with us until he's "ready" for his own bed. And as a wife, I have to respect his feelings and wishes. The other thing is that recently, Christian has shown signs of not "needing" The Family Bed. He hasn't been able to nurse himself to sleep for the past week. I am distraught. I truly don't know the reason for this change in behavior...(I'd love some insight)...but it makes me sad. What if I'm not ready for Christian to fall asleep without nursing? Or what if I'm not ready for Christian to want to sleep down the hall from me? I know I sound selfish, right? And I need to do what's best for Christian...

Sleeping in bed all by himself

I suppose we're both growing, he and I. But growing with your child might be the hardest thing in the world...especially when you've had your mind about the kind of parent you're going to be and then you have to change because the kid you have doesn't care what books you've read or the pre-conceived notions you've concocted. They are little people, after all, who have preferences and personalities that aren't required to coincide with your own as Parent.

Ken and I have decided that when Christian starts solids on a regular basis (around 6 months) we will start putting him in his own bed at night. I hope Ken is stronger than me...because the first whimper I hear I'll be so tempted to bring him back to his comfort zone.

Any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, words of comfort are welcome! (Just please ensure you sugarcoat comments...my heart is already a little tender...)