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The last time I updated my blog (regarding ME) was about two weeks ago...I think. Well, I am officially 8 months pregnant as of yesterday and I officially have my own zip code! No, just kidding. But I probably should have my own zip code...

I feel like there is a lot to say and then not so much to say all at the same time, you know? I mean, I have two more months to go and I keep wondering, "How much longer can I work like this?" and "How much longer until I can't put my own shoes on?" and "How much longer until I break down and buy an electric wheelchair?" These are serious questions one must ask oneself. But I am hanging in there...for now...

I did get some good news and some not-so-good news. What'd ya want first? The good or the bad? Well, let's go with the good first...I could use a dose of goods news. I DON'T HAVE GESTATIONAL DIABETES! Yeah, apparently when they tell you that whole thing about "not drinking or eating ANYTHING before your glucose test" they actually mean it! Weird! (I'm just sayin' maybe I had my usual cup of coffee before I went in for the test...coughcough-with-cream-and-sugar-coughcough.) 

Now for the bad news...so, I have always been anemic, right? (Seriously, name one woman who hasn't...) But apparently that combined with low platelets is a problem. So, I got a call saying that because my platelets are low, I am now considered high risk and have to see a special doctor. Naturally, when one is pregnant and one receives a call informing them of not-so-great-news they take it in stride and don't freak out, right? Anyone? (crickets chirping) WRONG! We're pregnant! You tell us something bad, we FREAK out! It's what WE DO! We're pregnant, ladies, and it is our GOD GIVEN RIGHT to FREAK OUT and DRAMATIZE EVERYTHING TO THE FULLEST EXTENT! (Don't believe me? Check out all the capital letters I just used to make a point while writing something...) In response, I automatically got online and self diagnosed.(WebMD and all sorts of fun scholarly articles about thrombocytopenia. And yeah, try to say that one 5 times fast...) Fabulous. And then I cried a little and THEN I had the really bad scary dreams at night. 

Obviously you can't live that way when you are pregnant. The baby feels everything you feel. (Actually, he probably felt more like his daddy and just wished I would get a grip???) So, I talked myself down (this took a couple of days), and I asked the doctor how low was "low" for platelets. As of Tuesday mine were still above 100...and after all my research online, 100 actually means 100,000 cubic mm. If it goes below 100, we have a problem (currently I am at 103). But if I hover around 100, it's not considered life threatening and is usually not passed on to the baby. 

So, that is my "news". Now, would you like some gore? Because what's pregnancy without a little gross-gory-nasty-poster child for abstinence type stuff, right?!?!?! Here's my list:

1) I can no longer stand up, look down and see my feet.

2) Therefore, I cannot actually "see" my vagina...

3) Or shave my legs without practicing some serious yoga moves.

4) It is a good idea to put socks on before putting pants on...I might not make it down there twice...

5) I'm not giving you any details per se, but if you are pregnant you WILL pee yourself. It will happen eventually and you just need to accept it. 

Mmmm! Yummy pregnancy, right?! Makes you wanna go out there and make a baby sandwich! Well, let's not forget that there is some fun stuff associated with babies. Like...decorating? Or shopping for baby clothes? Here are some pics of our "progress" in Christian's room...

We decided to keep the queen size bed in Christian's room because 1) The room in big enough for a bed, crib, changing table, rocking chair and small circus and 2) Ken had to cut a hole in the ceiling and push it through in order to get the bed upstairs...a feat not easily accomplished or easily undone. Plus, Christian will be in his bassinet beside our bed for at least the first few months AND Grandma Dennie is gonna need a place to sleep when she comes to stay with us after he is born. Therefore, the bed stays...and gets decorated to match his room!

Here is a close-up of the colors I picked out to match his Nantucket Blue theme. We were so lucky to find stuff that matched! (Deanna picked out the quilt and matching shams at Target for only $26.99! The white euro shams were $17.00/ea, the bedskirt was $35.00 and the blue blanket was $14.99...another find by Deanna! The yellow towels I ordered from Macy's on clearance for less than $20.00 for the set and they are Ralph Lauren!)

 

Christian's dresser with his name in block letters...the lamp will move beside the bed once we get a night stand. But isn't that lamp so cute?!? And it matches perfectly! (Deanna found it and it was only $14.99 at Target!)

 Mom couldn't pass this up! Plus, it has a frog on the bum...and who doesn't love a frog on the bum?

I got this for Ken, really. It says "Daddy's little co-pilot" and since Ken used to fly and what-not and still has an obsession with planes, I thought this was perfect...

Well, folks...that's about all I got. I am having pregnancy photos done tomorrow. My friend, Julie, won't take no for an answer even though I told her I am past the window of opportunity. If the pictures are good, I will post them on the next blog...if they are bad, you can catch them on the next episode of "Sasquatch: Mystery No More!"

One More Time Before Forever

Can you believe that in 9 months you are only scheduled to see your child one time after the initial "let's find out if you're really pregnant" screening? (crowd: "What? Really? No way!") I know! That's what I thought, too! It seems ridiculous that the only image you should have of your beloved child should happen at 20 weeks gestation and then never again until you hold the little one in your arms another 20 weeks later.  

Well, I am here to say that I could not wait until his birth to see Christian again. I had to see my little buddy one more time before I held him. And I really wanted Ken to experience our child in 3D (coming to a theater near you!) since they didn't have 3D when his other children were in the womb.

So, without further ado, here is my beloved...My Redemption...

Hands! He loves his hands...wouldn't put them down!

Christian holding his beloved umbilical cord

His little boy part...it's so cute!

Beginning to yawn

Beautiful dreamer

Loves those hands

Precious Boy

Sleeping with his cord

Perfectly Pouty Lips

Pursing his lips

Sleeping

2D profile

2D/3D side by side of the same image

The Line in the Sand...

I got a call from my doctor today that was most unpleasant. 

No, no...there is nothing wrong with Christian as far as we know (they will conduct a test to make sure he is ok next week)...but I sort of got a wake up call about some of my behaviors. 

125 pounds-goal weight-super healthy

Most of my friends and family know that I lost a ton of weight before I got pregnant. I was hot! (Seriously. I can say that because it was true...plus, look what happened! I totally got knocked up...) I did it by eating right and exercising; no big mystery to losing weight, is there?

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I tried to maintain my healthy lifestyle. In fact, I was committed to not being one of those women who just "blows up" because she's pregnant. I would go to the gym at first and work out hard...but the first trimester sleepiness set in and suddenly my time at the gym became nap time.

Then there was the smoking. Yes, I was a smoker. I still am a smoker...meaning, I love to smoke (just because you give up an addiction doesn't mean you don't still love it). It was my only vice! And I gave it up at 8 weeks. Well, let me tell you what happens when you quit smoking cold turkey (pregnant or not):

1) Your body suddenly searches for the dopamine that it used to get from smoking. (It's like a "happy" chemical produced in the brain...ever wonder why crack addicts have a hard time knocking the habit? Dopamine is the answer. The drugs produce a "fake" dopamine that gives you that "ahhhh...now that's better" effect...like after a hit off a cigarette).

2) There are only two substitutions for dopamine (of the non-drug sort)...sex and carbs.

3) I chose carbs.(Don't get me wrong! Sex is great! But who you gonna call when you're on lunch break??? Mr.Zaxby's or your hubby on the other side of town??)

Sooo, my first trimester cravings were fierce anyways, right? But now add in the super-ultra-gimme-some-of-those-donuts-urges and you create a health problem for yourself and your baby.

I found out today that I failed...yes FAILED...my gestational diabetes test. I tried to convince myself that I was not suffering from gestational diabetes; tried to tell myself that I would know if I was. But you don't know until you are tested. The side effects (if you even have any) look a lot like pregnancy itself! For example: frequent urination, fatigue and extreme thirst. Ummm...hello! That IS pregnancy!

The side effects on the baby are scary. I mean, anything unhealthy for you is unhealthy for the baby, right? Well, even more so with gestational diabetes. So, that means I gotta change. No more "eating whatever I want because I will lose it all after the baby is born". I have to eat a special diet (similar to the one I was on before I got pregnant...imagine that!) so as not to be medicated. (Remember? I don't want to be medicated for any reason at all during this pregnancy!)

So, that's it. I can't believe I was so careless. I suppose much of this pregnancy seems so surreal that I feel detached in a sense from the "cause and effect" of my actions. But now is the time to step it up and make wiser decisions! Here are some great sites to check out about gestational diabetes...

This one is a blog from a dr. about gestational diabetes

And this one gives the definition and the "why's" and side effects

In Other News:

-My iron levels are very low. I have to take prescribed iron tablets and prescribed prenatal vitamins.(This concerns me when I add in the fact that I also have low platelet levels...FABULOUS!)

-My appointment to see Christian in 3D/4D was canceled on Monday this week due to the horrible weather...rescheduled? I don't think so. We have to go to a special place in Atlanta at this point. You are welcome to read my note on facebook for additional rants on that one!

-Week 31 commences on Tuesday...and starts with a doctor's appointment promptly at 8am and then followed by a 2pm 3D/4D ultrasound. Expect a blog displaying beautiful pictures (and maybe even a video!) of my precious Christian come Tuesday night!

Why a Doula?

Since the beginning of time women have helped other women give birth. Women would gather round one another and help to soothe the woman in labor to create a comfortable and safe environment where the mother could go through the throes of labor knowing she was surrounded by love and harmony. The laboring mother knew the final stage of her journey into motherhood would be a difficult one, but she also had faith in her body and the people supporting her through the final phase of pregnancy. 

Today, labor looks almost 100% different. Today, you are expected go to a brightly lit hospital with machines and needles and fluids and medicines completely foreign to your body and do the one thing your pregnant body was meant to do in an alien world so different from the comfort of your own home. Your support network? A doctor, who hopefully has your best interest at heart and isn't just thinking about their next tee-off time, or a midwife, who hopefully still remembers that the reason people choose midwives instead of doctors is for the experience described in the first paragraph and not the second.

But what if you could still have the comfort of your own home and compassion from a woman who is your labor advocate on top of the knowledge and science of a medical professional? What if you could have a liaison from the ancient art of labor to the scientific world of birth? Would this not be ideal?

As I have expressed before, I want to have a natural un-medicated birth. Study after study shows the negative effects of medications and pain relievers (including epidurals) during labor and delivery on the child and mother. Don't believe me? Research it yourself! The studies will shock you. Many women think about having an un-medicated birth, even plan on it, but few succeed because they do not have the right support system. It's like saying, "I want to be a gold medal gymnast" and then not having a coach to help you train! How absurd, right?

And that is why I have hired a doula. I have hired my personal trainer and coach for labor. She will help me labor at home for as long as possible and then support me in the delivery room by acting as a liaison between the medical staff and my birth plan. She is an experienced woman in the art of labor. She is the one who says, "Alright, Steph! Let's go for a walk and get that baby lined up and ready to come out!" She is the one who says, "Alright, Steph! Let's getcha in a hot tub to relax that back!" She is the one who encourages with, "I know, Steph. It's not easy, but you are doing so well! Try breathing like this between contractions." She is what your midwife was intended to be. She does what the women of ancient times did to help each other during nature's most violent and natural of all occurrences. She is a doula. And though she is not a medical professional, she provides more care and comfort than any doctor or nurse or pain reliever ever could. 

I feel confident in my decision and plan for the birth of my son, Christian. I pray that I have a normal labor with no complications. And I hope that my son and husband will appreciate the selfless choice that I have made.

29 weeks...Fully Self-Absorbed

Me and Ken at the Big Night Out

What a loooooooong week! With my business finally slowing down, I thought I would be so happy...I mean, I thought I would miss the time alone with associates to train and coach and perfect. But it turns out that after a day or two of that, I've got the Christmas withdrawals. Suddenly I missed the chaos, confusion and exhaustion? (Yeah. Don't ask.) But with all that craziness gone, it left Ken and I a lot of time to focus on the pregnancy. BAH! Whatever! It left us a lot of time to focus on me!

As you all know, I am so lucky/blessed (whatever you wanna call it...) to have a husband that is obsessed with me no matter what shape or size I am. And believe me, he has seen me at 115 pounds right on up to my heaviest at 170...that was non-pregnant by the way. So, now, when I feel like a walrus and not so much like a gazelle, all he wants to do is take pictures of me. He's like, always there with the camera. Always.

And whereas that can be/is a huge pain in the rear, 29 weeks was pretty good to me (no matter how long it ended up being). So I let him have at it! This week has been one big photo shoot. Starting with a trip to Gap Maternity where I got TONS of stuff for less than $100. I mean, come on people, you can't beat that! My final inventory on that particular spree: 2 lightweight sweaters, 2 black dresses (one for our special night out and one for my baby shower), 1 long sleeve t-shirt and a basic white cami (a must for any pregnant woman). All that for under $100. Yeah, I pretty much rock. Ken loved me in the clothes so much, that again, there he was with the camera! Surprise, surprise. And at first I was not excited, but then, I realized that even if I feel like a beached whale, I don't necessarily look like a beached whale. So here's our mini-shoot:

Picking out some goodies

Big Night Out Dress

Looked a lot better in the pic than in real life...believe me.

Tip of the week straight from me to you? I will not shop anywhere but Gap Maternity for clothes. I have been unimpressed with the selection at places like Motherhood Maternity and Target...those stores take me to a bad place with bright lights and prods and really scary people dressed in elastic waistband pants with fat feet. (Did that description seem over the top? I didn't think so...) And I have been shell shocked by stores like A Pea in a Pod and the boutique-style places that charge an arm and a leg for a friggin' t-shirt. (Yeah, I'm probably not going to pay $40 for that pair of underpants...I'll figure out another way to CMOA...) So, if you want stylish maternity clothing at a decent price (that will hold up through enormous amounts of laundering...), shop at The Gap. Bam. Tip of the week.

Ken and I decided go out for New Year's Day to one of our favorite places...The Melting Pot! We've gone there through the years for special occasions and we figured that "special occasion dinners" might be seeing a slight decrease in the days/months/years to come. So, why not make it a special occasion, get dressed up and go out?!

The Final Result

And in heels...

Big Daddy and Me

The cheese is the best part! It was a combination of fontina, brie and gruyere with bacon, cream, white wine and chives! YUM!

Ken's favorite part is the main course...and we didn't like it at all.

Since we were close to Lenox Mall, we decided to stop by and see what was good...except the mall was closed...except for Macy's! (And you know my saying, "If you can't find it at Macy's or Bath and Body Works, you probably don't need it"...I'm so wise.) Soooooo, we went into Macy's and I got some new foundation, eyeshadow and a foundation brush at the Estee Lauder counter. A 'fabulous' guy helped me find exactly what I needed in about 5 minutes and was super friendly...thank goodness for gay men!

Ken and the camera

Again...

Once more please!

Thought of the week: "I used to dance all night in these heels...but honey, can you carry me to the car?" Add about 50 pounds to your body and suddenly those FMP's (if you need clarification as to what FMP means, let-me-know...) seem like a better doorstop than a fashion statement.

On a more serious note, there are a few things that I need to document:

1) This baby moves ALL THE TIME! He dances around in my belly day and night. Ken holds me at night (which is better explained in #2) and tells me how much the baby kicked and stretched all night long. It's the coolest thing ever. And I have to say that I am relieved! 'What to Expect' tells you to do fetal movement tests  in the morning and at night. But I haven't had to really "do them" because he moves constantly. Thank, God!

2) My back pain at night is getting pretty severe. Since our mattress topper is not here yet (...thanks to the jerk-faces at Amazon!) and I have this idea that the mattress topper will alleviate of all my aching back pain, I have had to get creative. I sleep in a fetal position with a pillow between my legs...it kinda looks like this (except I'm not a man...) and then I have Ken support me from the back my spooning me really hard so as to apply a good amount of pressure to my sagging spine (Gee. I bet my spine wouldn't sag if I had my super-cool memory foam mattress topper, now would it, AMAZON!?!?! Do ya think we can get it here BEFORE I have this baby!?!?! Do ya!?!? Huh????)

3) I can no longer work 5 days in a row. 4 days in a row on my feet is all I can handle. 5 days in a row with, let's face it, an hour break if you're lucky...just ain't cuttin' it. By the third day my hips are practically disconnecting and my feet are like broken clay pots. Not a pretty picture. So, I have to be careful with how I make the schedule at work from now on. 

4) I got this AMAZING book on nursing at Barnes and Noble! It's called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International. For any moms who are considering nursing, this is a great book! It is also completely supportive of natural childbirth without medication. (And I am not going to lie. I have been FREAKING OUT! about natural childbirth and labor in general.) There is an amazing line in the book about how a woman's body will only do what she can handle during labor. Since contractions are muscle movements, any woman's muscles will only contract to the point where our bodies can tolerate it (...just like when you work out and lift heavy weights, you can only push your muscles so far before they give out). It's not like you will pass out from the intense pain. And I think it is so important to trust your body. When women start being induced or medicated, a chemical is added to your body that makes your body do what it is not ready to do. Of course, I understand the need for medication. But in 99% of childbirths? Really? Is that necessary or is it just convenient? Anyhow, I found all this information extremely reassuring and comforting. "By trusting my body and my labor coach (Ken), this pregnancy will be a natural, non-medicated success" (this is my mantra for the next 2-3 months...).

Me at Barnes and Noble with my Chai Tea Latte...and what-do-ya-know!?!? Ken's there to capture the moment!

5) My breasts are leaking! Which means they are getting ready to nurse! I am excited about this for a couple of reasons:  

                   1) My itty-bitty-titty-committee tatas serve a purpose! They work! I told Ken that I feel fertile...I feel alive and purposeful. Ok, I even told him that I feel like the Mesopotamian Valley at the begining of civilization because...

                   2) I am going to feed my child as God intended (God willing...) and as women have been doing for thousands upon thousands of years. There is nothing more primal than knowing you can nourish your baby. I read stories and excerpts from women who have nursed and I cry every time. They are so touching...because the connection between You and Baby becomes real and tangible. I pray that there are no hiccups when my baby arrives and that I am able to breastfeed him. It is a blessing to be able to share that with your child.

Ok! Alright! I guess I'll be done now! I feel like I have covered everything (and more!) that anyone could ever possibly need to know about my 29th week. I go for my gestational diabetes test on Tuesday...I hope all goes well...and I am sure it will because the only reassuring thing my doctor ever tells me is that I'm a pleasure because she doesn't have to have the heart-pressure/poor health convos every time I come in for a visit. But you never know! And the insurance insists that you play it safe, so be it. 

I hope everyone has an amazing New Year!

Our (Better Late Than Never!) Christmas Blog!

Yeah, so? We did it. We put a bow on my belly and took a picture. Don't judge.

For Christmas this year, Ken and I decided to spend the day together at home (big surprise, eh?) and enjoy each others company. 

We had gone kind of skimpy on Christmas gifts for one another for the past few years...one year we even just exchanged ornaments...so that Ken's kids would have more stuff under the tree. With Marcella, Nigel and Devin all working hard and going to school, we decided to just give them money. I mean, that's what they really want anyway! 

Don't you remember when Grandma gave you a gazillion STICKERS for Christmas one year and all you could think was, "Dangit. I would've liked the $5 she spent on these stupid things..." (Wait. Maybe that was just my childhood...WHEN I WAS 12!) Or what about when your Aunt gave you a $100 savings bond (crowd: "Ooooh! Aaaah!" Not.), and all you could think about in your selfish little heart was, "Geez. I'd have settled for 20 bucks cash." Well, that is why we decided to give the kids money this year...and insist that they not give us any gifts in return...(My thought process? Why are you buying me a present if I am giving you money???)

The flip side is that Ken and I went all out on Christmas this year for ourselves and the house. I've had a good year financially...got a raise and a bonus...and Ken has spoiled me ROTTEN (I know what you're thinking! As if I wasn't rotten enough already...) all year long (i.e. A new wardrobe when I lost 25 pounds, a trip to the Keys to show off my bangin-bikini-wearing body, a second trip to the Keys for my birthday and a second coughcough-and third-coughcough wardrobe when we found out that I was pregnant.) So I really wanted to go all out for him for Christmas. 

I know it isn't about the gifts, people! Ok? I get that. But Ken and I live very simply and work very hard so as to enjoy ourselves when we feel like it. And I wanted to spoil my man a little bit! Plus, if you have ever read the book about the 5 love languages you know that giving and receiving gifts is a way some people (ME) show love. Ken is an "acts of kindness" kind of guy. But I am all about buying you a thoughtful gift straight from the heart. I mean, I traded my life for the money to pay for that gift...I ain't just tryin' to buy you a gift card!

Ken opening his presents

Steph: "Ken, hold up the little bottle so we can see how cute it is!"  Remmy: "Is it for me and/or can I eat it?"

Burberry London...my signature fragrance

Mommy opening her stocking. Remmy checking to make sure nothing in there is for her.

 We also tend to go all out for the dog. I mean, she's pretty much like a kid to us anyways! So, Remmy had a really nice Christmas...actually she had starting scouting her stocking well in advance. We had to move it because that rotten dog wanted to sneak treats out of it before Christmas! (Poor, Ken. He has the greediest women in his life...) I think we both had more fun helping Remmy open her gifts than we did opening our own. (Which goes to show how pointless buying Christmas presents for one another can be...)

Daddy is bringing her the "INFAMOUS STOCKING OF JOY!!!!"

Mommy helps her unload the stash...

Mommy: "Look, Remmy! Look at the treaty-treats!" Remmy: "Yeah, yeah. What else ya got in the sock?"

A new collar! (Ken picked pink so people would stop asking, "What's his name?")

Remmy: "ballsballsballsballsballsballsballsballsballs!"

Remmy's Goodies

Playing with her new toys

Treats! (Notice Ken's new sweater...)

Grandma Dennie and Deanna came over. And of course...Grandma Dennie brought treats for Remmy.

Remmy's new anti-burp dish. Because it sits up higher, it is supposed to alleviate intestinal gas problems...Remmy really likes it! She ran over to it every 5 minutes to make sure it was still there.

Remmy after her Christmas bath on Tuesday. Yeah. That didn't last. 

Such joy!

Pooped after an exciting day!

Ken and I decided to get a couple of things for the house that we had been wanting for awhile. I knew that if we didn't get them this year, they would go on the back burner with the baby right around the corner. So! I bought 'em!

Cast iron tea pot with tea-light burner. We figured we'll be spending a lot of time upstairs with the baby and we really enjoy our tea. Therefore, we thought this was a great option so we don't have to traipse up and down the stairs every time we want a cup of tea. It's very cool and kinda sexy lookin'...

J. A. Henckels knife set...twin signature! Only the best for my baby! 

 Mom and Deanna came over to exchange gifts as well. Mom bought a ton of stuff for Christian! I don't think that child shall want for anything. I told her not to shop for me since I didn't really need anything...except a hand-vac! She got me my hand vacuum! (I know it's not very exciting. Ok? But it's what I wanted! Appliances make me very happy...wait. That didn't sound right. But I think we all know what I mean...)

His crib bedding and extra  sheets, a baby bag, and boppy with cover...not to mention the crib she purchased along with the mattress.

Christian's first ornament!

My mom explaining how a nursing gown works...I was seriously confused. I thought my mom had bought me lingerie.

Steph: "So you can just whip it out any time????" Remmy: "Ugh. So boring."

And that was our Christmas in a nutshell! We didn't have any sort of elaborate dinner because mom brought brunch and we stuffed ourselves. I simply cooked the most amazing mac-and-cheese and we enjoyed our Honey Baked Ham. 

Quite a simple day, but quite enjoyable! I will miss my quiet holidays shared by Ken and myself. These past 5 years have been exactly what I have always dreamed of...a simple life, shared with my husband...but not just a husband; a partner, a companion and confidant. Christian will be all the joy we could ever hope for, but I will miss it being "just the two of us". I hope we never forget what made us "us"...