After 9 damn months of loathing my body...I finally get what pregnancy is all about. It's about accepting the fact that you're gonna be uncomfortable, you won't be able to do most anything you were once very capable of, you'll probably gain more weight than you planned on and you'll leak like a sieve from every orifice! Bam. There it is. And I'm just gonna say this for the record...IF (and that is a big IF) I ever decided to do this again (which I probably WILL NOT...omg, I can't believe I'm even pondering the thought!), I will read this blog and remember that through all the pain, agony, personal dramatics, scale-breaking weight gain and complaining...it's about "embracing the horror". (Side Note:Sometimes my husband has a way with words that makes everything make sense. He's the only one who can talk to me in such a way that I am unguarded by even the most insensitive truths. And there's only one answer to the reason why he's able to be this person for me...it's because he truly loves me and wants the best for me. He is interested in my growth and personal development. He doesn't have ulterior motives...his true motivation is my well being. Thank God for him...I'm not sure another soul could reach me or speak to my heart the way he does...Ok, I digress...but hey! Sometimes you gotta give credit where credit is due...)
So, after Ken broke it down for me in black and white, things got a lot better. Pain was relative. Yeah, my feet hurt...they feel like broken clay pots...but I'm friggin' 9 months pregnant and I'm still working! GO ME! On the bright side, they have only swollen ONCE since I have been pregnant. Once! That's like a miracle! Here's my pic to prove it...
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| I'm not gonna lie. I got pretty excited about my swollen feet because it means I am nearing the END of this journey! I totally put this picture on Facebook, sent it via SMS to my co-workers, step-mom and mother.Yeah, you could say I was a little excited. |
Another piece of good news is that my belly has dropped! (Honestly, I am surprised it doesn't hit the damn floor...) A lot of my friends (who either are, or have never been pregnant) want to know what "dropping" means/looks like. Now, I am here to say that I am no expert. Ken noticed that I had dropped before I noticed it...but, dropping is basically the baby's head settling into your pelvis for the bumpy ride that could be anywhere from 2-4 weeks away (it could be longer than that in theory as everyone is different or even shorter..). "Dropping" means less to NO HEARTBURN! (which was my biggest clue because a couple of days ago I was getting heartburn from friggin' bananas that was strong enough to make me want to throw up) and the ability to finish meals because your guts have more room (and yes, that is the scientific terminology..."guts"). If you need a visual aid, let me be your guide...
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| This was me at my baby shower three days before I hit 35 weeks. See how my belly is high and there is not any room between the top of my belly and my breasts? Now watch this!... |
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Pretty crazy huh? This is almost exactly a week later! I was sitting at dinner on Sunday night (I left work early because my feet were in a lot of pain and I couldn't walk...), and I felt this heaviness sink into the bottom of my uterus like never before. It was noticeable enough that I had to stand and bend over to alleviate the pressure. I didn't understand what it was at the time, but looking at it now, I really think the baby's head was dropping down into my pelvis. That night I read about what "dropping" was and noted the fact that my heartburn had all but vanished over the past 3 days or so. When I got to work the next day, my associate (who is also pregnant) looked at me and said, "Whoa! Your belly has dropped!". I hadn't seen her for about 4 days...so it was a drastic and obvious thing for her to take note of. I also went to the doctor at 35 and a half weeks and was measured at 38 centimeters. While it's not a fact that the baby will come earlier because he is measuring about 3 centimeters big, it is true that he grew 3 centimeters in one week. I mean, I have all these signs that he's coming! And as of today I have only 28 days till my official due date.
A lot of women start having their private areas examined for dilation at 36 weeks. I suppose they want to know if they are a centimeter dilated or 2 or whatever...but I am having so much fun guessing when this baby is going to come that I don't want a doctor telling me how dilated I am. My body will know when the baby is ready to be born. Everything is working and functioning properly and I don't need anyone poking around in my girly-place trying to figure it out!
I have also decided on a date when I will discontinue working or "go out" as we say it in my little world of retail. I decided that if I make it till the18th, that that will be my last day. Not one person has said that they think I will go longer than my due date...my personal bet was on the 19th of March (which would be my first official "day out"). I think my body will finally relax and do its' thing. But, I could be wrong since I've got bets on the 4th (a little hopeful, Marcella! But she's excited...), the 9th, the 11th, the 14th and the 19th. If you wanna get in on this, feel free! The winner gets...well...to be the winner! (Pretty great prize, huh?)
As we go into the last month of pregnancy, I am refusing to pack any hospital bags until I go into labor...I am tempting the fates, you see. Teasing them, if you will, by doing the exact opposite of what I am supposed to do (which is have my bags packed at 30 weeks like most first-time moms). Also, I am waiting for this whole nesting thing to happen. I can count on one hand how many times I've cleaned my house since I've been pregnant. Seriously, I probably don't even need a whole hand...So as soon as that nesting thing hits, we'll know I'm going to have the baby soon! (Just wondering...I was thinking of calling a maid service to come a do a deep clean of the house a couple of weeks out. Does that count as nesting? I mean, the urge to prepare for your child is what nesting is all about...why does it matter who does the "actual preparing"? Just sayin'...)
Now for the traditional "gory-'EW! I'm never getting pregnant'-story"? Sure, why not!?!? Ken and I are standing outside together, ready to take the dog for a walk when I reach down and feel the crotch of my pants:
me: "Ken! My pants are wet! I think my water broke!" Ken: "I don't think so, darling. You would know if your water broke." me: "Yeah. I think you're right. I think I just peed myself..." Ken: (shakes head)
Alright, kids! Now go have yourself an awesome week! Catch ya on the flip side...
too funny about the water breaking!!! you WILL know if/when it happens...no doubt haha. i think it's AWESOME that you aren't DYING to have him out of you at this point. I was ready to do every trick in the book to have Kye. I was soooo over it. I hated every min of pregnancy. I also can't imagine going through it all again but next time I hope that I can have a better attitude about it - I love what Ken said and it's so true. It is what it is and we just gotta deal :) I will actually pack my bags SOONER next time. Once labor did hit I stressed about getting everything done and couldn't relax the way i wanted to. but i'm a hardcore stress type person and it sounds like you're a lot more able to relax than i was which is a blessing!!!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your pregnancy blog! Too funny you are!! I in fact LOVED being pregnant, and it makes me very sad to think I will never be again. I said the same thing you did about not packing bags, and then when I went into labor, unexpected at 35 weeks with the twins, I literally was so stressed out about the rush of it, and making sure I had everything, I had a panic attack in the middle of the c-section and had to be put to sleep. Not that this will happen to you, BUT it is a good idea to have at least a list of things needed to pack before the time comes! I can't wait to see what this little guy looks like! I feel like I know him already! And you look AWESOME!!
ReplyDeleteWow, you definitely HAVE dropped! And you're as beautiful as ever! I think you should listen to that great suggestion of Megan's and make a list... not because you'll be so stressed when it's time, but because you'll be so giddy excited!! LOL! It has been a joy to watch you/read you through your journey... and it's only just begun! :D xoxo
ReplyDeleteEmily-I have great respect for your honesty. I seriously understand how you felt about pregnancy. It ain't fun for many of us...people look at you like you're a lowlife for saying it, but let's be honest! You know? It's not all roses and skipping through fields. It is the most stressful thing you can ever do to your body!
ReplyDeleteMegan- That's what I have Ken for! haha! He knows more about what to pack than I do. We were kind of going over the list of stuff to bring and he was like, "Don't forget the pads and your pillow". I was really impressed. So, even though I may be tricking the fates...I do have my hidden ace, Ken. :)
ReplyDeleteAunt Lynne- I cannot wait for my water to break! I will be soooo excited! Because when you think about it, you will be meeting your child within 24 hours! And THAT is what I have been waiting for!
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