25% DONE!

As I enter week 10 of this crazy 9 month journey, there are several things I want to bring to the attention of friends who have yet to carry another living being inside themselves (yes, I am the real life Ellen Ripley from Aliens).

1) No one, and I mean NO ONE, does gas like a pregnant lady. Unpleasant, huh? Well,  picture the Michelin Man squeezing his butt cheeks together and walking down Main Street, USA...THAT is how you will feel, my dear friend.

Moral of the Story: "bloated with 100% chance of gas" will be your  personal weather condition for about 9 months.

2) Every hunger pain, bump, nauseous inclination, bodily or emotional affliction is amplified times 100!  For example, even if you have endured previous back pain twenty times worse before pregnancy, you now have the right to take your current discomfort and multiply it by 100...literally, 100 (formula: current discomfort x 100= level of complaining allowed).  With all the hormones floating through your body, you won't have to worry about this math, the hormones will go ahead and do all the multiplication for you.  You won't even know that you sound like an overly dramatic shrew...isn't that great!?!? 

Moral of the Story: your husband becomes your superhero if he wasn't one already.

3) A sure fire way to "get told"  is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period (unless you are a medical professional).  An even more effective way to "get told" is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period...if you are a man.  The amount of dislike that is sure to come your way if you are a man who happens to let the ole', "Well, don't do what my wife did and gain 40 pounds!" slip from his mouth, is similar to the discomfort formula found above.  Take the normal (non-pregnant) amount of dislike, and multiply it by 100 (formula: dislike x 100= intensity of evil laser eye stare).

Moral of the Story: do yourself a favor and steer clear of "weighty" conversations.

HOWEVER!!!!  Have no fear!  Because I also have some great advice (yes, I am done ranting and raving).

1) Remain active!  It will keep your bowels and your shrew-like mood in check.  I have committed to working out 3 times a week now that the initial groggy/queasy time period is over. 

2) Plan a weekend getaway with the hubby!  This will give you incentive to remain active (especially if you are going to the beach!) and give the two of you alone time before there is no more to be had for quite some time.  We plan on going to see family and going to the beach before the end of the year.

3) Take LOTS of pictures.  LOTS.  Document every little detail in a journal or blog, and don't be afraid to embrace the up's and down's that are pregnancy.  Cheesy, huh?  (I agree.) BUT!  Ken and I keep journals that we write specifically to the baby in.  Any hopes and dreams or thoughts and occurrences we want to make sure the baby knows about, we jot down in our journals.  Any gifts, cards or flowers, we keep or take pictures of to make sure the baby knows how much it is loved and wanted.  I feel that this process will come in especially handy when the baby is around age 13 and screams, "You two don't even love me!  You don't care and I am probably adopted!"  We will then pull out the ginormous scrapbook of pre-birth memories and reassure our teenager (and ourselves) that none of those accusations are true!  I mean, how could they be?  Who wouldn't love a moody, mouthy, rebellious teenager?  Right? Anyone?

Week 10 belly...(Believe me, the only reason you're gettin' a picture is because it was a skinny day! Oh, and sorry about the quality.  I didn't have a helper and I didn't want to waste a skinny day photo op!)