I had a couple of concerns to address with our doctor and surprisingly got some really interesting answers.
1) I was concerned about Christian's co-sleeping. (Yeah. I do it. I'm not ashamed either. I love cuddling with my child at night and no, I'm not going to squash him. A mother's senses are heightened when she co-sleeps and her hormones change in order to become more aware of her child's needs, body temperature, etc.) But I wanted to know a good age to move him out of our bed and into his own without too many problems. I expected her to chastise me immediately for sleeping with my kid, but she didn't. She actually liked the idea...especially since I am breastfeeding. She did suggest moving him, in stages, to his own room between 4 and 6 months. She also told me that I would start to prefer he sleep in his bassinet once I went back to work...eventually Mommy will need to sleep, too.
2) We hold Christian a lot and don't really believe in letting him "cry it out" when we are able to pick him up or entertain him. She supports this. Like, entirely. Her thoughts MIRRORED mine! This is our thought process:
a) Babies who are held more, cry less. It's a proven fact. Also, there are cultures that rarely deal with crying babies because they carry them around all the time. These cultures find it absurd that we should let a child "cry it out". Why not just pick the baby up and comfort him?
b) What lesson are you really teaching a baby at one, two, three months when you let them cry? Are you really teaching them self reliance or independence? I mean, come on. They're babies. They're not self reliant OR independent.Once babies are more mobile, they wean themselves of being held. Yeah. That's right. They wean themselves of being held when they are ready.
3) Christian spits up a lot. Like, 4-5 times after he eats. I was worried about reflux and she said that as long as he isn't weezing in pain (from burning reflux), he's probably ok. She said to make sure we burp him after he eats and see how he does. The last resort is to medicate...and we all know how I feel about medicating unnecessarily.
I know that my new-found super ultra crunchiness is probably making some of you nauseous, but I think the bigger picture is this: I am finding my own parenting style. I've read the books, I consulted many sources, and ultimately, I have to figure this out on my own! Ken and I have to do what we think is best for our child. Let's face it, pregnancy wasn't a freakin' party for me (I DIDN'T LIKE IT!) and Ken ain't gettin' any younger...Christian could possibly be our only child together. Why wouldn't we want to hold him just a little too much, or cuddle him a little too long, or shower him with all the attention we have to give? We have waited for this child for almost 6 years! (Seriously, on our second date I told Ken that if he wasn't willing to be a husband and father we should just stop dating...can you believe he stuck around? Yeah. I'm still in disbelief!)
So, that was my personal revelation while at the doctor's office. And Christian got a chance to show everyone what a tough guy he was. It was time for his second Hepatitis B vaccine, and do you know that he only cried for exactly 3 seconds? He's a friggin' champion! That's one tough dude right there!
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I am team Christian too! Great job! I completely agree with the not letting him "cry it out".. not as a baby! I just started letting m&m cry it out a few months ago, and I still can only take so much! Bedtime at 18 months usually is about 5-10min of fussing, then asleep, but if I keep going in there and cuddling them it takes almost a hour to get them asleep! But as babies, I wanted them to know mom and dad were comfort! So hats off to you, I agree with ya! And he is getting more and more cuter!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this post! I'm so glad your pediatrician encouraged you the way she did! It always helps just a little when you feel that support on things a lot of people may not feel the same way on. I told you that I co-slept for 6 months, and even now I don't let Hayden scream himself to sleep. If he's "fussy" that's one thing, but if he's screaming and hysterical I will go in there and comfort him. And I don't think it has negatively effected him at all. He seems like a very secure, very loving baby, and so I feel that the way we have done things is right for our family. :) So glad he is doing well!!! And so happy breast feeding is so successful as well! I am hoping I won't have a problem producing this time...last time I was only able to do it for two months before we realized he was losing weight and I was only producing 2 oz a day! They even put me on a prescription but it only made me produce about an oz more. Keep me in your prayers this time around if you don't mind! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a fantastic job! I completely agree with not letting him cry it out. At this age he needs to know you will be there for him. I didn't let either one of mine cry ot out until they were much older. Then I made sure there was abolutely nothing wrong before I would let them cry. I also am a fan of doing what is right for your child and not what a book tells you. I never read a parenting book and my kids have hit every milestone early and are very well adjusted. I firmly believe in doing what is right for your baby and only you know that. Keep us the good work!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you're taking all you've read/been told and doing what YOU need to do for you and Christian. By the way he's a total cutie - but I know you already knew that :)
ReplyDeleteWONDERFUL that your pediatrician is so supportive of your parenting decisions!!! I think it's funny how we are both different mommies but are both good ones too don't you? SO great that he's doing so awesome breastfeeding! have you tried holding him upright after each feeding for awhile? kye spit up CONSTANTLY too and that seemed to help!
ReplyDeletePS: I gave you a blog award! check out mine for more details :)