Peaceful Thoughts and Dreams

Years from now, and not that many, I see my son playing with his trains and cars around the Christmas tree as Ken and I watch him in all his joy. I see the brightness in his eyes being enough to fill my heart...without presents, without things, without superficial clutter. This boy will be my hero with his genuine smile, his gracious spirit and his pure heart. He will be my reason. And Ken and I will look at one another with complete content, knowing we created the only redemption we ever needed. Because this child will not be just any child; he will be ours. And he might just save his mommy's soul. Three months seems too far away to have little Christian here. But he is always with me...moving, twisting, exploring, growing...reminding me that humanity is within my very being and that there is much hope to be had.

Do you remember Laura Bennett from Project Runway's third season? Well, if not, here's a picture of her with her children. While the program was being filmed she was pregnant, married to an older man (which you know I love), the mother of four rambunctious boys and one girl and also a finalist on the show. When she was sent home during the last few weeks to complete her final line for the runway, Tim, the show's moderator, visited her "humble" abode in Manhattan. And this image, this snippit from the show, has stayed fresh in my mind now for several years. It is an idea that Ken and I often speak of because it is exactly how we see our son:
Tim walks in the house and is bombarded with excited little boys eager to have the attention of a visitor (you know, visitors are very exciting for children!). A couple of the little boys are running around trying to find the family pet (a turtle) who is M.I.A.somewhere within the house (Tim is obviously a little unnerved by this fact), and another little boy (a toddler) is running up to Tim, hiney out of his pants, with a handful of turtle poop to show him (at this point, Tim is looking for the exit). Neither of the parents are overly concerned with the situation. After all, what can you expect? Boys will be boys.

This image, this little moment from an otherwise pointless program, has been the way I see my son. Ass out of his pants, running around trying to find a wayward turtle loose in the house and more than a little excited about turtle droppings discovered along the way (surprise!).

My son will be whatever he wants to be. He will do what amplifys his strengths. He will undoubtedly mess up along the way and even grow weary of my advice. But first and foremost, he will be my son; my troublesome, dirty, quirky (because let's face it, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...), cuddly, squirmy little boy.

Having these ideas of what Christian will be like, I discovered a song that will now, forever and always be his song. For those of you who have little boys, I can't think of a more appropriate Christmas tune. Listen and enjoy! Ken and I wish you the best Christmas that money can't buy...may you be blessed with peace and mercy.
Christian's Christmas Song

7 months...Third trimester, here I come! And look, Remmy's in the picture! (As usual...)

Back Pain and Lullabys

The past couple of weeks have been kind of like the doldrums of pregnancy. It's like you're stuck right smack in the middle and you're starting to have some serious pregnancy issues and you know...it's only gonna get worse. I did have a couple of humorous things happen, however.

First thing, a little boy (probably about 6 or7) shopping with his mom in my store kept looking at me. He finally came up to me and asked, "How pregnant are you?" and I said, "I'm 6 and a half months pregnant." He makes this face like he doesn't believe me, so I asked (because I am a glutton for punishment),  "How pregnant did you think I was?" He responds, "Oh, I thought you were at least 8 months." His mom was mortified (and apologetic). Me? I wasn't upset at all. So I responded with, "I feel at least 8 months."

And then the strangest little memory came to mind. I remembered the first day of kindergarten in Mrs.Smith's class. She was wearing a printed overall/jumper. You know the ones...especially if you grew up in the early 90's. I mean, they were everywhere and I still have no clue what grown women were doing wearing them. Remember the super poofy Slater pants with the tapered leg turned into overalls? Yeah. They were bad. So anyways, I digress. That is what she was wearing on the first day of kindergarten. Apparently, I thought she looked pregnant so I asked her. I said, "Mrs.Smith, are you pregnant?" She looked at me skeptically and said, "No." To which I most graciously asked, "Are you sure?" Mrs. Smith immediately shot me the "I'm-lighting-you-on-fire-in-my-mind" look because unbeknownst to me, I had just offended her. (Yeah, I really had no idea that I had offended her...she looked pregnant! Maybe she didn't know! Geez. I was being helpful...)

25 weeks...and yes, I am pregnant...not that you had any questions.

So, my point in telling that story is to point out the fact that I completely deserved the innocent comment from the little boy. I did however, get a not so innocent comment from a woman shopping in my store. She asked if I was having twins. About 50 different come-backs popped into my brain...not a one was uttered...BUT! Again, I totally deserved that, I am sure. 

My back is in serious pain. Sleeping is hard to do because I am constantly rolling and turning and tossing in bed trying to find a comfortable position (of which I am here to tell you, "THERE IS NONE!"). Poor Ken. It's a wonder he manages to stay in the bed with me. We bought a memory foam mattress topper...that has yet to arrive from Amazon. But I keep thinking that the more I can endure the better. Especially if I am planning on having little Christian naturally (still waiting on my Bradley method workbook from Amazon as well...geez Amazon. Get it together!).

I have found out that no matter how "healthy" you are (when I say "healthy", I mean fat), it is really easy to become dehydrated. Dehydrated is something that will kick your butt. Dehydrated is the super reality check. Yeah. I will have to be very careful with that one. 

On the upside (yes, even though I complain constantly there is an upside!), Christian has been moving around like a madman and the doctor says that that is a good sign. I love feeling him with me all day. He is my constant reality check. If I start to freak out about something that seems important (but probably isn't), Christian gives me a good kick in the guts and I remember to relax a smidge. I truly cannot believe he will be here in 3 and a half months. We haven't bought the first thing for him. Is that horrible? I mean, we just haven't had time. Plus, after-Christmas deals should be pretty awesome, you know?

I am really happy about being a mom. I mean, I have dreamed of this boy for a long time. Literally. Lullabys  are very important to me. My mom actually wrote me a lullaby and sang it to me every night until I left her house. When I spend the night at her place even now, I can usually count on her singing it to me. I will write the lyrics...
"Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little Stephanie. Get some rest for the best, so you can grow so strong. You're Mommy's little munchkin from heaven above. You're Daddy's little pumpkin to have and hold and love. We love you, oh yes we do. Oh how we love you our little Stephanie. You're the best of all the rest and we thank God for you."
 Now, isn't that sweet? I mean, it's so special to me. I want Christian to have something special like that, too. Sooooo...I have been singing a certain song since I first heard it. It's about a mom who is sending her love to her little boy from the road while on tour. But it is a song that has stayed with me since I was 18 years old. It's like I knew I was going to have a little boy even then. And when I met Ken I sang it to him and told him that that would be my child's lullaby. Now I can't even sing it without crying. Every time I try, I get this overwhelming sense that I am unworthy of such a life, such a love. I don't know why God has entrusted me with something as precious as this child, but I swear to sing to him every night the way my mom did for me.
Christian's Song

The Week in Review...

Besides working 55 hours this week, I did other things, too! And here's my week in review...

I took a moment to appreciate the sad, underlying difference between my "panties" from 6 months ago and my current "underwear"...the statement is astounding. BTW new "underwear" was my big Black Friday purchase. I got 9 pair for $10. Exciting, eh?

I enjoyed our Christmas tree with my wonderful husband.

My husband cooked the best turkey you ever put in your mouth! And I made the fixins to go with it. Lunch was at 1 and I was in bed by 2...turkey induced sleep is amazing and trippy all at the same time! Mmmmm...turkey!

I played with Remmy. Or rather, I watched my dog entertain herself while I stumbled through the house like a zombie all week looking for the bed.

Remmy played nicely with Satchmo...sometimes. Well, mostly she just wanted to see if he squeaked.

Prepared for Black Friday with my amazing team...

And somehow between working all those hours, I took the time to enjoy the little man who keeps me company all day (and night) long. Little Christian James rides with me everywhere I go and is my saving grace. Of that, I am sure.

And since my husband is so picky about the dadgum picture I post of him, I decided to let this picture represent who he is to me. Well, actually, he's more of a...

                                                       But this week he was my...

You see, my husband cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked/heated up the food, fed the animals, worked 50 hours himself and managed to be my guardian angel. He waited patiently for me during my 9:30pm(Thursday)-10:00am(Friday) shift in order to ensure my safety and well-being...and opened a GAP card for me to buy maternity clothes with. Now THAT makes him my hero! Lol...ahhhh...it's the little things, people.

Anyhow, that is my week in review...exciting, I know. Try to contain yourselves, and I will be back with more NEW and EXCITING updates to come!

"Thanksgiving Trooper"-Ode to the Retail Queens

Well, it's the end of week number 23 for me in my pregnancy and the end of of a little rat race I like to call "Black Friday".  I know that many people like to partake in the craziness that is Black Friday. Heck, I did before I started a career in retail! But as much fun as goes into hunting for the best deals and being the first in line to receive giveaways, about 100 times more planning and preparation actually goes into making that day possible for shoppers to enjoy.  If you've ever worked in the retail world, you have an idea of what I am talking about. If you have ever managed in the retail world, you understand what I am talking about. But if you have ever been a store manager in the retail world, you know what I am talking about.

Basically, planning and preparation for stores starts promptly at the middle to end of 3rd quarter (September-October). Schedules consume your days off, backroom organization consumes your time in your store, marketing storage and sorting consumes your brain constantly as you play a sort of mental tetris to try and fit zillions of signs into boxes into mere feet in your stockroom. Sleep goes by the wayside as you lie awake at 2am thinking, "If I get up and go to work right now, I bet I could get about 8 boxes of clearance out of my backroom before we open..." Your body becomes capable of a workload that a 9-5er can never and will never comprehend. After all, you are in charge of a mutli-million dollar store and you are responsible for all of the thousands of units therein. On top of that, you are responsible for hiring, training and staffing a crew for the holiday season.

At 26 years old, my responsibility level far outweighs the average American's. Because I am responsible for producing volume that keeps my company afloat. I am responsible for motivating and encouraging a team of people from different backgrounds and life experiences in different ways that will (hopefully) produce the same perfect customer-oriented result. I am responsible for writing a 400 hour schedule that will best satisfy the needs of my customers who ultimately sign my check. I am responsible for the visual appeal and merchandise flow that is my silent seller for hundreds of shoppers who walk into and by my store with impressed looks on their faces. And I am responsible for being at my store come hell or high water, rain or shine.

I'm not trying to say that I don't get tired or worn out, because I do. 12, 13, 14 and 15 hour days running around on a concrete floor will bring any grown man or woman to their knees. But doing that while pregnant will slap kick your butt. And guess what? My butt is kicked because I did it. My store doubled its' plan and was ready for another great day of business because of the workload my team and I put in. We doubled our sales goal...no one does that. But we did. Because of my amazing crew and their fearless leader...we did it.

You Might Be Pregnant If...

1)  You think of driving to work as "running the gauntlet" since there are no reputable restrooms along the way and any length of time over 20 minutes means extreme bathroom-going upon destination arrival...if you make it.

2) You mentally rank said non-reputable restrooms from 1-10 according to various sanitation levels.

3) Ice cream is now a staple on your grocery list...coming before bread, milk, eggs and juice.

4) You wonder how much waddling it will take for someone to notice you are pregnant.

5) You gauge the width of entryways before entering.

6) Your husband's boxers and t-shirts have become your boxers and t-shirts.

7) You notice it takes a lot more lotion to cover your body when slathering up in the morning.

8) You can go from laughing hysterically to "ready-to-kill-someone" in .5 seconds flat.

9) And then rebound by crying in .2

10)Your husband wears a gas mask.

If any of this turned your stomach or made you think "ewww", you are NOT pregnant. If you understood, empathized or even snickered, you either are or have been pregnant. 

22 Weeks...ALMOST 6 months!

O.K., so it seems I need to apologize to all readers of this blog for my poor photography skills.  Evidently, every photo I take of my lovely spouse distorts her unquestionable beauty and elegance into something less refined and possibly even frumpy.  What was I thinking?  In fact, for some reason, even though I have agreed to lay on the floor, stand on the bed, turn the camera to different angles, change the settings and even stand on my head, I am obviously doing this all wrong and “making my darling Stephanie look fat”.  And can I just state for all readers here and now that she is not fat.  She is slightly and elegantly Rubenesque.   She has a robust beauty that no one can question.. (And you better NOT!!)  She is simply carrying our magnificent prodigy differently than some other women which evidently gives a false impression to the beholder that she has gained weight.  How silly is that???  So, forgive my lack of camera savvy, I promise to do better in the future.

Boy, oh Boy! It's 20 Weeks!

In case you were unaware (because you jumped off the face of the planet), WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!!!! I am sooooo excited about this (and soooo relieved).  Not that there is anything wrong with having a little girl; it's just that I knew this one named Stephanie Marie, and I knew all the really bad teenager type things she did, and I don't know that I am equipped to deal with that. As my cousin Denise said (oh, so eloquently) when she was pregnant after having been asked whether she wanted a boy or a girl, "I'll be damned if I'm going to have a little (inflammatory noun) talk to me the way I talked to my mom!" Well, Denise, I concur! And apparently so do the fates, because oh! Have I mentioned? I'm having a little boy! And here are some pictures from his first modeling shoot...

My little Picasso

It's his little boy part...awwwww.

He would really like a new book to read (he gets bored easily).

His perfect little feet (actively kicking Mommy in the tummy...awwww)

So, now that we know what the little squamous (nickname that just kind of happened) is going to be...that can only point to one course of action. Any guesses? You got it...SHOPPING!!!  Mom and I went to Babies R Us with plans to scan at least two thirds of the store for the baby's registry. Unfortunately, there's a lot more to consider than just the design and motif of the little one's nursery...there's like, serious stuff...like, "travel systems" (That's right. You can't just strap a kid onto the hood of a car and take off for the hills anymore. Geez, it worked for my parents.), fifty bazillion types of swings, bouncy seats, carriers, cribs, mattresses (THAT'S RIGHT! Not only do you have to buy a crib...you have buy the mattress...???) and let's not forget the fact that you can ruin your child's entire existence by purchasing the wrong type of pacifier (which doesn't seem like a big deal...except there are 100 bazillion of these little suckers just waiting to be scanned! I decided to wait on the pacifier and allow the baby to pick out his own. Surely he can just point to the one he wants when he arrives...good thinkin', huh? *wink*)

After all was said and done, I got some great advice from a few moms and moms-to-be throughout the store. You have to remember that I have no brothers or sisters with children, I have no cousins with babies within a 400 mile radius and I haven't spent a lot of time with any "babies" in general. So...I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING. However, I am not! ashamed to ask for help...(from complete strangers, multiple times). And I really lucked out, because all of the pregnant ladies at Babies R Us were super friendly and knew their stuff (I'm not really sure what kind of happy juice was in those ladies' cups, but it sure as hell ain't in mine!)

Mom and I did end up getting a great deal on a "travel system" by Graco. It was the design that I had researched (Correct. I research everything. I am done reading the "What To Expect" books...bring on the teenage years, baby!), and we got the floor model for $50 off; PLUS! another happy-juice-pregnant-lady was more than kind a gave us a 20% off coupon...thus taking off another $50. Amazing, right?

Said "travel system"...shall we call it the "Cadillac of all baby mobility"?

A lot of the nursery stuff I had picked out online wasn't in the store (I refuse to have big stupid monkeys or turtles or big mega print airplanes decorating my baby's room...and apparently that's all they sell in-store), so I will probably complete my registry online. Besides, why drive to a store when you can sit at home in your pj's and still get 'er done? 

Shrine to Baby Clark

Nantucket Blue...crib set planned for Baby Clark

Soooo...that brings me to the subject of names. We have thought about different names we like and have heard a few suggestions from the peanut gallery. For example, Nigel, my youngest stepson lovingly offered "Octavius Reppins Clark". Thanks a lot, Nigel. You really put your heart and soul into that one. My very special cousin Christine thought "Charlie Jacob Maximilian Clark" sounded nice (all first names from her small herd of children). And then, of course, we heard from Jimmy Bates, our dear friend, that his namesake would be most suiting. Well, Jimmy, you might've just gotten your wish, because James is definitely on our list of "keepers"...sorry to Nigel, Christine, Charlie, Jacob and Max. So far, we really like Christian, James, Winston, Collin and Kenneth. 

And as far as your daily dose of laughter is concerned, let me be the administrator and provide you with some pictures of me at 19 and 20 weeks.  I am done trying to look pregnant. If my somewhat "flat" belly is all I have left, I will take it...pridefully...because Lord knows, it looks more like I am growing the baby in my hind quarters (and hips, and thighs, and arms).

19 weeks

20 weeks...and this picture makes me look fat. Plus, Ken is a horrible photographer...I mean, who told him to stand on the bed because it would probably make me look skinnier????  Surely that wasn't my idea.

Baby Blitz!

It's been a little quiet on the home front with baby updates...and for that, I am sorry. But you know what they say: no news probably means someone was too lazy to update the blog! That is what they say, right?

Well, maybe not because I have been anything but lazy...in the last few weeks I have traveled to New York, New Jersey, Michigan and Florida. On top of that, my NEW STORE'S grand opening was on the 8th of October. Soooo, maybe I've just been a lil' busy...and we all know that Ken never sleeps.

But have no fear! I am here! To update you on all things baby!

1) All of the results came back from the sequential screening and they were all normal! Thank God! (Which Ken and I have already disputed because our child will be anything but normal...I mean, I'm just bein' honest...)

2) We took the baby to meet both our families in Michigan...I was prepared with super stylish maternity outfits for the trip. I made sure to bring my "buffet pants" (thanks for that one, Julia!) because we ate like there was no tomorrow.  Well, the baby ate like there was no tomorrow...Ken was just being a pig.

3) Forget everything I said about being less gassy...it was all a lie.

Alrighty! Moving on!

4) We have tried every test known to man and consulted every wives tale ever told to try and guess what the sex of our baby is. I dreamed I was having a baby boy and was sure of it...until my mom, Deanna, Ken and Stacy convinced me I was having a girl. Then I had a dream that I was having a little girl.

I waited patiently for Ken's psychic friend to call and tell me what I'm having...but she never called (probably shoulda slipped her a twenty...dangit!) Sooooo, let's just say I consulted the old Thai lady at the Thai restaurant in town (who is said to be 100% accurate in these matters), and was told that because I was "frumpy" and "without makeup" I must be carrying a boy. Suprisingly I wasn't offended by her comment? Hmmmm...

Anyways, there was this "find out what you're having with 15 easy questions!" quiz I found on the internet. Well, when it came to the question of, "what are you craving: sweet or sour?", I was like, "SOUR PATCH KIDS SOUND REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!" See, I can't win.

So, we are safely waiting until Monday the 25th for the final answer...and let me be honest with you...I don't care what I have. I really don't. Just give me that little baby to love and I will be one happy mama!

5) I felt the baby moving (I like to call it "squirming") around on Sunday the 17th of October. Like, whoa. Amazing. When you feel it, it will change your life.

6) Ok, soooo, I'm not gonna lie... the baby is a lil' big already.  Weighing in at 25 pounds (at least...), our baby will no doubt be the largest baby ever born (next to an elephant or rhinoceros...perhaps). And though the size of the baby has increased my size, I am willing to sacrifice for the sake of history! However, my husband seems to love my extra inches...and we don't choose to call it "fat" or "chubby"...we call call it "Rubenesque" (refer to exhibit A, B, C and C and a half)

                      

 Exhibit A... 

   

Exhibit B...14 weeks

Exhibit C (CUP! Yeah baby! That's right! I'm a C CUP!)...BTW, I'd like everyone  to notice Remmy with the creepy eyes in the mirror...creeeepy!...17 weeks

Exhibit C and a half...17 and 1/2 weeks...we are starting to see a baby bump!!!!

Smooooth Sailin'...

Whew! SO glad that is over!  My first trimester draws to a close in just a few more days! If you can't tell how happy I am about this fact, please, allow me to throw in some more exclamation points !!!!!! I'm not trying to scare anyone (even though there is probably no one left to scare-pretty sure I am the last person I know who doesn't have a kid), but that first trimester is a DOOZY!

I can say, without a doubt, that the second trimester bulb went on for me at about week 12 and a half.  I woke up fully rested (WHAT!?!?!?!  FULLY RESTED!?!?!? NO WAY!), had a lovely breakfast (that I did not consume in record servings) and put on a damn outfit in less than 5 minutes!

It seems that the second trimester bulb is growing brighter for other reasons as well:
1) My cravings/hunger are less like a semi-truck and more like a Tacoma.  Is that a good example?  Or maybe this...my cravings/hunger are less like the Titanic and more like a 26 footer?  I'm tryin' here people!
2) Emotions in check...I think...well, it depends...don't ask Ken...he doesn't know anything...
3) GAS SUBSIDES! What!?!? That should be on the front pages people! It really should because I can finally allow my husband to hug me and sleep in the same bed without a mask!
4) HOLY MOTHER OF PREGNANCY SEX! Yes, ladies.  It's true.  My friend told me that it would be amazing and I secretly thought she was full of it (or a much better wife than myself...sorry Megs!), but after the first months of misery..."WOW" is all I can say (and I think Ken can say it, too...tee hee!).
(BTW-I'd like to apologize to all my family members, step children and especially mother for this one...blogs are a safe place, guys...just go with it.)
5) I am embracing my extra weight...EXCUSE ME????  Yes, you heard right.  I am embracing it...sometimes more willingly than other times...but I am trying to relax and let it be. 

I am hoping that these good things keep coming, because if they don't, I am afraid my husband has every right to put me on the streets...just sayin'!

I did go to the doctor and found out some news, however:
One, I have low platelet levels. Therefore, I will probably not be able to have an epidural...which is fine because I wasn't planning on it anyway. There is something about natural childbirth that I feel is right. My mother had me naturally and I feel like it is a way to understand what having a child is all about; it ain't easy but it is soooo worth it! Plus, I have a great friend who has encouraged me and had her child naturally as well.
Two, we are choosing to have sequential screening. Sequential screening is basically a blood analysis at 13 and 16 weeks that tells you if your baby has a greater risk of birth defects. If it comes back positive, it doesn't necessarily mean anything for sure, it just means that you run a higher risk for defects like spina bifoda and Down syndrome. That is when they do another test, look at your ultrasound a little closer and take amniotic fluid in order to make a diagnosis. I decided that I wanted to know if there was anything wrong with my baby...my doctor said that the results can ruin some people because they are so devastated when a positive result comes back. However, I cannot think of one reason not to be excited about having this child, and if God trusts us with a special needs baby, then so be it; we will start preparing now.
Three, my doctor is leaving me!!!! She was given a great opportunity at Vanderbilt to teach there. So now I have to deal with another doctor...she is gonna be so sorry she has me as a patient! And by the way, I say "doctor", but I actually opted for a midwife. I feel like a midwife specializes in more one-on-one attention and also in natural child birth. My doctor was so awesome even though I only got to see her a few times. It is hard to believe that anyone else could be as wonderful.
Four, I got to hear that little heartbeat again! "whoosh, whoosh, whoosh"...it made me and my mother cry all over again.

Ken and I are planning on going to Michigan and Florida for a little r and r in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to seeing my family and visiting my underwater friends in the ocean...yes, I have friends that live underwater...duh! We will find out the baby's sex on the 25th of October...I already had a dream that it is a little boy...we shall see soon enough! And yes, I shall grace you with a photo...it was a skinny day...
                                                                           Week 13

2 years and rollin'

As I head into week numero elevano (that was French for week number 11, of course!), I also head into year number 3 of my marriage.  Pretty cool, huh?  I couldn't think of anything special to get Ken for our anniversary, so I put a bun in the oven (with his help) that will be done cooking in about 6 months.  Thoughtful, huh?

What I have realized, especially during the past couple of months, is that having the right person standing beside you is so important. Want proof?  Read the following example:  I wake up this morning (definitely not feeling like P Diddy) and get on a 9:30 conference call.  During the conference call, my hubby makes me breakfast and coffee (I am allowed one cup, damnit!)...fabulous.  He feeds, waters and walks the dog.  He does laundry and picks up any loose articles that may have been thrown on the counter/floor from the night previous (not that I would ever do that!).  After my call, he waits patiently for me to decide what I want to do for the day.  First, I decide to take a nap.  Then, I can't sleep...(not that Ken was a big help in allowing me to sleep).  Then, I start crying because nothing in the closet fits me and I have nothing to wear (also, I am ugly and fat and homely and my hair roots are too long and why are there starving children in Africa blah blah blah...).  So what does my husband do during this HOUR LONG RANT!?!?!?  He waits, patiently, reassuring me that I am gorgeous and definitely NOT fat (liar...).  He holds me and rocks me back and forth until the crying stops and helps me pick out an outfit.  Now THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a great husband.

We have seen our serious ups and our serious downs.  But I will never find someone who loves me more and is more committed to my true well being.  Our love has been tried and tested, but I don't believe there is any other couple made for each other the way we are.  You tell me how a 20-something year old and an over 40-something year old (I won't reveal Ken's age...his feelings about my well being might change suddenly if I do...) can stay together for as long as we have and create such a wonderful life together?  It's because we are meant to be.  And I am so thankful for that blessing. 

Sorry this isn't a crazy maternity blog, but I have to give credit where credit is due.  And Ken, if it weren't for you, this pregnancy wouldn't even be possible (I feel like the Georgia Public Broadcasting channel...weird).  I love you, baby!

Week 11...post-traumatic-outfit-picking-out-disorder...

Roller Coaster !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, is it normal to eat hot sauce on everything? I’m just asking… I make Steph an omelet; she douses it with hot sauce. I make chicken cutlets; she drowns them with hot sauce. She brings home chicken wings literally floating in hot sauce. I’m afraid the ice cream is next! And I’m kind of worried that our child will come with a charred interior. I guess I'm wondering if this normal behavior. Oh wait, we are talking about pregnancy, and we are talking about Stephanie.. What was I thinking? LOL

I do however enjoy cooking for my lovely wife whenever time allows. After a Spring of constant diet and exercise in preparation for a vaca in the Keys, we are now on a new mission. It seems I am to continue with diet and exercise and my Darling Steph will be exercising and EATING....Eating for at least two. No worries though because she looks absolutely stunning. A little moody perhaps, but beautiful. Oh, and there is that one thing; she's made me the happiest guy on the planet.

25% DONE!

As I enter week 10 of this crazy 9 month journey, there are several things I want to bring to the attention of friends who have yet to carry another living being inside themselves (yes, I am the real life Ellen Ripley from Aliens).

1) No one, and I mean NO ONE, does gas like a pregnant lady. Unpleasant, huh? Well,  picture the Michelin Man squeezing his butt cheeks together and walking down Main Street, USA...THAT is how you will feel, my dear friend.

Moral of the Story: "bloated with 100% chance of gas" will be your  personal weather condition for about 9 months.

2) Every hunger pain, bump, nauseous inclination, bodily or emotional affliction is amplified times 100!  For example, even if you have endured previous back pain twenty times worse before pregnancy, you now have the right to take your current discomfort and multiply it by 100...literally, 100 (formula: current discomfort x 100= level of complaining allowed).  With all the hormones floating through your body, you won't have to worry about this math, the hormones will go ahead and do all the multiplication for you.  You won't even know that you sound like an overly dramatic shrew...isn't that great!?!? 

Moral of the Story: your husband becomes your superhero if he wasn't one already.

3) A sure fire way to "get told"  is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period (unless you are a medical professional).  An even more effective way to "get told" is to tell a pregnant lady anything about her weight during this time period...if you are a man.  The amount of dislike that is sure to come your way if you are a man who happens to let the ole', "Well, don't do what my wife did and gain 40 pounds!" slip from his mouth, is similar to the discomfort formula found above.  Take the normal (non-pregnant) amount of dislike, and multiply it by 100 (formula: dislike x 100= intensity of evil laser eye stare).

Moral of the Story: do yourself a favor and steer clear of "weighty" conversations.

HOWEVER!!!!  Have no fear!  Because I also have some great advice (yes, I am done ranting and raving).

1) Remain active!  It will keep your bowels and your shrew-like mood in check.  I have committed to working out 3 times a week now that the initial groggy/queasy time period is over. 

2) Plan a weekend getaway with the hubby!  This will give you incentive to remain active (especially if you are going to the beach!) and give the two of you alone time before there is no more to be had for quite some time.  We plan on going to see family and going to the beach before the end of the year.

3) Take LOTS of pictures.  LOTS.  Document every little detail in a journal or blog, and don't be afraid to embrace the up's and down's that are pregnancy.  Cheesy, huh?  (I agree.) BUT!  Ken and I keep journals that we write specifically to the baby in.  Any hopes and dreams or thoughts and occurrences we want to make sure the baby knows about, we jot down in our journals.  Any gifts, cards or flowers, we keep or take pictures of to make sure the baby knows how much it is loved and wanted.  I feel that this process will come in especially handy when the baby is around age 13 and screams, "You two don't even love me!  You don't care and I am probably adopted!"  We will then pull out the ginormous scrapbook of pre-birth memories and reassure our teenager (and ourselves) that none of those accusations are true!  I mean, how could they be?  Who wouldn't love a moody, mouthy, rebellious teenager?  Right? Anyone?

Week 10 belly...(Believe me, the only reason you're gettin' a picture is because it was a skinny day! Oh, and sorry about the quality.  I didn't have a helper and I didn't want to waste a skinny day photo op!)

Doctor's Visit: Round One

For people like me who really never experience "morning sickness" (knock on wood, right?) or any of the other crazy side effects of early pregnancy, you constantly wonder..."Am I really even pregnant????"  Well, guess what? Today I found out that I really am pregnant and I've got the picture to prove it (these 7 extra pounds I've put on weren't just an excuse to eat french fries galore)!

An ultrasound technician once told me that the 2 most common things said during the first ultrasound were these:

1) "Oh!  The baby looks just like his daddy!  Look how big his head is!" and...

2) "Oh!  The baby looks just like his daddy!  Look at it's (name of any body part and/or bodily feature that is totally indistinguishable during ANY stage of the first trimester)!"

So, I promised myself that I would not say either of these things.  After all, Ken doesn't have a big head...the baby would have gotten that from my side of the family for sure...But seriously!  I couldn't have said boo to a goose with the way I was crying. 

Not only did I get to see my little baby, I got to hear the "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" of its' heart!  That beautiful sound stole my breath away.  Life is within me!  And I never thought I would get to experience this.  I had never given much thought to any of my friends' pregnancies; never really cared...but I guess better said- I never really understood.  Now I get it.  And now, every step I take is one step closer to holding that little baby in my arms and giving it the best life I can.  

I am reminded of Uma Thurman in Kill Bill: Volume 2.  When the Asian assassin shoots down her door, Uma pleads that her life be spared for the sake of her unborn child (which she found out only moments ago she was carrying).  The two women are across the room from each other-only a few feet separating them-with guns cocked and ready to fire.  The assassin tells her that the whole baby story is bullshit; just a quick distraction to catch her off guard.  Uma responds, "On any other day you would be 100% right.  But today, you're 100% wrong.  Right now, I'm the deadliest woman in the world."  

I am that woman.  I am the deadliest woman in the world.  Because I am carrying the tangible proof of the love I have for my husband.  I am carrying the future generation to my father's legacy.  I am carrying my mother's loving spirit.  This is my baby and it is the world to me.

WeLcOme!

Welcome to our blog!  I never thought we would have a blog...after all, how presumptuous to think that someone (somewhere? anyone?) would care enough about you to look at a page all about you!  But heck!  Why not try?  Worse comes to worse, my mom will follow the blog (if she can remember how to turn on her computer...).  But seriously, thank you in advance for reading and visiting and we hope that you will come back again. 
Our goal is to put a Clark twist on being pregnant...even now at 8 weeks (almost 9!), being pregnant has been the most comical event we have endured together as a couple.  Of course Ken is more of an expert when it comes to growing a baby than myself, but so far it has been an 8 week journey of hot sauce eating frenzies, sleep spells that would make you think I was Sleeping Beauty and hormonal up's and down's that take me back to about the 9th grade.
All in all, we have had a blast and hope to share our experiences and excitement with all our friends and family who love us.